Jamie

For a long time after he was born, Jamie appeared to be an entirely normal child. He learnt to babble, smile, walk and run at all the ordinary times. He was affectionate and gregarious, and into everything. By 18 months he could use over 40 words, ahead of the targets I had read about in all the baby books. His future at Oxbridge seemed assured.

Initial signs

At the age of two there were the first hints that something was not right. When I took him to mother and toddler group he did not seem to fit in. Instead of playing ordinary games he would chase the other children and hit them to get their attention. His language seemed to be a little behind other children of his age. In fact he didn't seem to be acquiring many new words at all.

In retrospect it's easy to look at the signs and see what was going on, but at the time nothing was clear. Jamie was not so different from his peers really, at least not to the eyes of first-time parents with no significant experience of children. For several months it looked like nothing that couldn't be fixed by more parental attention and spending more time with other children. So we continued with the parent and toddler group until September, when he was enrolled in a playgroup for two mornings a week.

Diagnosis

Jamie loved going to playgroup, but the expected improvements did not materialise. He did not gain more language. He was still hitting other children, and did not join in with their games. The staff noticed that he had no idea of how to play. They suggested I take him to see a health visitor, and I agreed.

After a long chat the health visitor decided to refer Jamie to various specialists, including a speech therapist, and a hearing specialist. Hearing tests revealed a touch of glue ear, but not enough to delay speech. The health visitor didn't claim to be qualified to judge, but tentatively suggested autism.

It had to be something else, we thought. Our darling boy was far too friendly, too fond of hugs, for such a diagnosis. He liked going out and seeing people. He didn't insist on routines and have tantrums when we failed to stick to them. He had interests, but never to the point of obsession. It had to be something else.

Six months later Jamie was officially diagnosed as autistic. By that time it came as a relief rather than a shock, confirming that we were not just terrible parents and enabling us to get his statement underway. Having taken the time to read around, we realised that autism has no single set of symptoms, and varies a great deal from child to child. However damning that label may sound, he was still our Jamie and much more than just his condition.